March (Down-B)

Some honesty.

It’s already the second half of March and listening to some Porter Robinson got me thinking about things.

Maybe it’s just a part of who I am, but it seems that, regardless of what I am able to successfully do, I’m always left in a state of wanting more. I don’t know why my expectations for myself are so high, but, half the time, I’m usually trying to reason with myself that “I tried my best.” Perhaps both are reasonable mindsets to have, or perhaps it’s a bad matchup. In the end, though, I don’t think the answer to this question will really solve anything, because, I think the real question is, is there really anything to solve?

I’ve found a lot of success in maintaining an open mind in high-pressure situations. You keep yourself flexible that way. In this situation, you can’t let yourself be lost in the noise, especially the ones you (inadvertedly) make for yourself. In that moment, it’s all in you. Your potential and your capabilities are tested. Trust them and adapt. In this moment, you crumble, or you shine. Work with all that you got. It’s only in the end should you critique yourself and grow from it.

A bit of tangent, but I think it helps to write these things down. I’ve looked back at my previous post that I left for myself to keep track of my goals this month. Only two points remain “unfinished”:

  • Implement a Landing Page for PL in PS
  • Learn a bit of Heroku to make a simple React App

The thing is, I don’t think any of these points are important anymore. This is because with what I’ve already done and with what work I have left to do, these two points are fixed in their own way. In my effort to write content for PL, as of the second week in March, PL content is now created using a static-site generator, so manually implementing landing page is unnecessary. I’m also planning to convert most of the JS source code used in PL to PureScript. In that way, I’ll get to learn and understand more of the JS code enough to learn how to reimplement it in another way.

I would normally be a bit upset at not being able to complete all my goals, but I left myself open-minded this time, both in writing down my goals and in the process of completing them. The result:

I have the rest of this month to learn new things to improve on things already done. I don’t think anyone who aspires for self-improvement could ask for anything better.

Written on March 19, 2017